Business Management Gifts

Effective communications

'Run this by 'Legal,' but sprint it by 'Ethics.''

"It's like a business. Concentrate on the bottom lion."

"You're doing a great job as a corporate psychiatrist, but would you please keep your hands off the workaholics."

"Mr. Sherman, you hired our team of management consultants to stremline your enterprise, and that is precisely what we are doing."

'I'm confident that with the right mix of role-playing exercises and prescription medication we'll make a cohesive team.'

"Which brings us to my next point."

The Move.

Panel discussion: absenteeism in the workplace.

'Right we need an urgent response to our productivity problems...'

"All six suppliers are complaining that you are not taking this selection process seriously!"

"Jump!" Performance management.

"Number four wasn't bad, at least he removed his personal CD earphones for most of the interview."

Non-Profit-Organization

'Our filing system could perhaps benefit from a little critical analysis.'

'Actually, I was hoping for a more inspiring mission statement.'

Home Business - Accounts.

"Thanks to my cost-cutting policies, profits are up 59%."

Female executive offers suggestions ' OUTSIDE THE BOX'.

'Our entire operation is sustainable except for our cash flow.'

"We take a very hands-off approach in management. Particularly when it comes to employee theft."

'Someday, son, none of all this will be yours.'

'We like the teamwork idea, but Billy won't let us play with his ball.'

'I know figures don't lie. Your job is to make them.'

Exec Has His Whole Life At His Desk

"Part of me wants to help you with your crisis, Hargraves, but part of me wants to go to lunch."

"Go to accounting and crunch the numbers people."

'Tippit, your salary increase will become effective as soon as you do.'

'Intelligence is spotting the flaw in the boss's reasoning. Wisdom is refraining from pointing it out'

"Who would like to give me feedback on my leadership qualities?"

"Thank you gentlemen for voting me as chairman."

'And one and two and let change through and three and four and collapse on the floor.'

Member of the Fortune 5 Million

A Pilferage Problem.

"The fine print, in the contract, can be read only if held up to a mirror."