Small Business Management Gifts

Money pouring in for a 'Acme Doodad Company's IPO.

'Another 3 eggs?? . . . That's 150 weeks paternity leave. . . just for today!!'

Who do these people think they are? What people? They're complaining about our prices, service, the use of single-ply toilet paper in the restroom

Home Business - Coffee.

Banker about to roll out the red carpet for 'Small businesses'.

'I understand the need to estimate next year's home business expenses for the bank, but do you think they really care how many rolls of toilet paper we expect to purchase?'

'I can't get the hang of this cloud computing...'

Home Business - Overnight Delivery.

'I'm not paying for another misspelling, and give me back the rhngchtanza!'

Milking small business.

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

Looks like another day in which. . . I have to run the world, the country, the business and the household!!!

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

The MBA Draft

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

'Office Woofers. For the quiet and obnoxious boss.'

"Why do you need so many computers?" "One for billing, one for stock control, one for human resources, one for financial management..."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"Don't worry about missing the meeting, Henshaw. We assigned all the actions to you."

Ice Cream And Summer Rentals

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

'You earned this corner office by cutting corners...'

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

The Corporate Ladder and the Corporate Elevator.

"I know it's misspelled, but market research shows that cute sells."