Small Business Management Pillows

Money pouring in for a 'Acme Doodad Company's IPO.

'Another 3 eggs?? . . . That's 150 weeks paternity leave. . . just for today!!'

Home Business - Coffee.

Banker about to roll out the red carpet for 'Small businesses'.

'I understand the need to estimate next year's home business expenses for the bank, but do you think they really care how many rolls of toilet paper we expect to purchase?'

'I can't get the hang of this cloud computing...'

Home Business - Overnight Delivery.

'I'm not paying for another misspelling, and give me back the rhngchtanza!'

Milking small business.

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

Looks like another day in which. . . I have to run the world, the country, the business and the household!!!

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

The MBA Draft

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

'Office Woofers. For the quiet and obnoxious boss.'

"Why do you need so many computers?" "One for billing, one for stock control, one for human resources, one for financial management..."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

'You earned this corner office by cutting corners...'

Ice Cream And Summer Rentals

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

"Don't worry about missing the meeting, Henshaw. We assigned all the actions to you."

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

"I know it's misspelled, but market research shows that cute sells."

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.