Running A Small Business Gifts

'There's nothing wrong with me yet but I'm about to sell my business and need tranquilizers in advance.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

Ice Cream And Summer Rentals

"I know it's misspelled, but market research shows that cute sells."

Miniature Design Shop: Think Small.

'I treat everyone here the same as my family. . . like s**t.'

"Mom, will you help me take down my drawings? I'm selling my catalog."

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

Expenses/Income. "Our only problem is working out how to switch these."

"I'd love to help out but I'm barely keeping my head below water now."

Dog selling toilet water on front lawn

'This wasn't what I meant by viral marketing...but if you can get it to work.'

Money pouring in for a 'Acme Doodad Company's IPO.

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

"I'd say business was brisk."

3 cents glass - Exact change please, seller can't count.

"I'll have the usual."

A Specialty Bookstore Chain that Failed, 'Untitled Books.'

"We're going to have to think outside the box to boost sales, minion."

"Business is so bad even my hotcakes aren't selling like hotcakes."

'Running your own business means being self-made, unfortunately it also means finding out what you're made of!'

Wow thanks, a cheque for $500M made out to 'small business'.

"We're still the same, great company we've always been, only we've ceased to exist."

At the printers - "Business is booming I need 6 more business cards, ASAP."

"Forget lemonade. The real money's in bottled water."

'You have to stop bringing all that work home. You're trying to send a fax from our toaster.'

Member of the Fortune 5 Million

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

Free Printer with Purchase of Ink

'McWit Plumbing and Lite Puff Pastries.' The only way to survive in today's economy it's good to diversify.'

"We thought about a restaurant and decided we were more of a bookstore."