Business Manager T-Shirts

Complaints and Gratitude.

"Hold everything! The P.R. department just sent over this chart."

'If we do applaud transparency, will anyone see it?'

"Well, then, it's unanimous."

The dream works when the team works!

"I've never understood—what is the difference between morals and ethics?"

'Before we start, shall we go round the table, and each share our name and a horrible dark secret from our past.'

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

"This month's business meeting is the same as last month's business meeting but with many more problems."

'Our standards are very high. We even have high double standards.'

17 Days Without a Reorganization

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

Rabbit Meeting Shows Hopping Profits

'Rather than Jones becoming a team player with you guys, I prefer that you become team players with Jones.'

'Wow, that is a really big goal!'

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'And now, Gentlemen, that we have our thinking caps on, let us continue.'

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

Profits - "It's worse than you think it goes down to the third floor."

"Hi, I'm Hugo -- I'll be your compliance officer."

"I'm not coming home, Jennifer. I live here now."

"I've got your letter in front of me now."

A single man has the job title of CEO, Business Manager, HR, Undermanager, Head of Division, Personnel. . .

'This year we're in really great shape. Nobody understands our financial statement!'

"Pendleton, as of noon today your services will no longer be required. Meanwhile, keep up the good work."

'There goes another one. Perhaps we should look into that employee satisfaction thing.'

'In the future, Clayton, always make sure you have your decimal points correctly placed.'

"It's a setback, but we'll bounce back."

"Can you keep a secret, Fred? The truth is, I've never had a clue what curve it is I'm supposed to stay ahead of!"

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

Filing cabinet has compost in bottom drawer. Man says: 'It's part of our new green-office initiative.'

"Of course, if this one flops we're done."

"Actually we find this works better for us."

"I brought lunch from home today. Would you toss it for me?"

"Our email marketing campaign got a response from someone in Nigeria who wants to send us four million dollars. Should we deposit that in the company account, or is it better to use Paypal?"