District Manager Gifts

'Okay, people... The name of the game is Musical Cubicles! The winner gets to be the new district manager! Ready... set... GO!!'

'Before I can make a decision, I want to give our district manager a chance to humiliate you.'

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"Well, that's the only song we know, so we can play it another two or three times, or we can cut our losses. Waddya say, Cleveland?"

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

Direct Marketing...

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

"They say change is inevitable...thank goodness!"

Opening the door to new customers

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

'Hey Kiddo, I think we'll have to stop to change your nappy...'

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

'I hope you made the prospect say no three times before you gave up.'

"I'm cutting out a complete layer of management."

'I was speeding right along toward my goal of moving up from middle management, when a cost-cutting measure overtook me!'

Fantasy Business Management

City Finance Dept: My Way/The Highway

Block Closed for Gritty, Hard-Edged Tale

'In keeping with the team approach, we've traded you for two middle managers to be named later.'

'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'

"Can't complain- it's against company policy."

'My God! It's Hastings, Van Witten, Rosten and Traver, Inc!'

"I guessed my way to a perfect score on the GMAT, then I guessed my way through grad school and several middle management jobs...."

"Unfortunately, father never quite got over being asked to reform the band for Live Aid in the '80s."

"This next song's about spreading risk in a volitile market by diversification"

Welcome Bureaucrats! (Convention of bureaucrats).

What a Guy! The Tops! - "He likes to make his clients feel important."

"I now realize that my 'show no mercy' campaign for the corner office was a big mistake."

'This doesn't look good.'

'Damn ! I don't have a clue where we are.'

'We do a little hiring and a little firing, and between you and me, I enjoy the firing more.'

Department of Wastage - Formerly 'Middle Management'

'Ooopsss! I did it again.'

NHS Trust Hospital: Management Team/Medical Staff