Deputy Manager Gifts

'I'm beginning to regret making you deputy manager.'

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

"I hate performance review season."

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"They say change is inevitable...thank goodness!"

Pushy Dog

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

"Give a man a job, and he'll work all day. Teach a man to delegate, and he'll take the rest of the day off."

'Hey Kiddo, I think we'll have to stop to change your nappy...'

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

Desk trays: The Good - The Bad - The Ugly

Fantasy Business Management

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

"I'm cutting out a complete layer of management."

Oh sure, unload it on me to do it/Out.

'I was speeding right along toward my goal of moving up from middle management, when a cost-cutting measure overtook me!'

"Misunderstood,overworked,underpaid and stressed, it's bound to lead to depression...still enough of my problems,what can I do for you?"

'This is gonna be one of those teamwork talks, isn't it?'

'In keeping with the team approach, we've traded you for two middle managers to be named later.'

Project Manager Showdown

'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'

"I guessed my way to a perfect score on the GMAT, then I guessed my way through grad school and several middle management jobs...."

"Can't complain- it's against company policy."

"Either accept the pay reduction or you get sent down to the minors."

'Okay, people... The name of the game is Musical Cubicles! The winner gets to be the new district manager! Ready... set... GO!!'

"Today we can help herd cattle, go on a nature hike, get a sauna and massage, or go into town and rob the bank."

Bring It On!

Great coaching is about building constructive relationships...

Welcome Bureaucrats! (Convention of bureaucrats).

"I now realize that my 'show no mercy' campaign for the corner office was a big mistake."

'I'd like to be one of those people who sets targets for other people.'

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

The three Musketeers give a PowerPoint.

'We believe in having a very specialised team. Watkins here for example provides all our human error.'