Deputy Manager Pillows

'I'm beginning to regret making you deputy manager.'

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

"I hate performance review season."

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"They say change is inevitable...thank goodness!"

Pushy Dog

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

"Give a man a job, and he'll work all day. Teach a man to delegate, and he'll take the rest of the day off."

'Hey Kiddo, I think we'll have to stop to change your nappy...'

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

"I'm cutting out a complete layer of management."

Fantasy Business Management

'I was speeding right along toward my goal of moving up from middle management, when a cost-cutting measure overtook me!'

Oh sure, unload it on me to do it/Out.

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

Desk trays: The Good - The Bad - The Ugly

"Misunderstood,overworked,underpaid and stressed, it's bound to lead to depression...still enough of my problems,what can I do for you?"

'This is gonna be one of those teamwork talks, isn't it?'

'In keeping with the team approach, we've traded you for two middle managers to be named later.'

Project Manager Showdown

"Either accept the pay reduction or you get sent down to the minors."

"Can't complain- it's against company policy."

"I guessed my way to a perfect score on the GMAT, then I guessed my way through grad school and several middle management jobs...."

'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'

'Okay, people... The name of the game is Musical Cubicles! The winner gets to be the new district manager! Ready... set... GO!!'

"Today we can help herd cattle, go on a nature hike, get a sauna and massage, or go into town and rob the bank."

Bring It On!

"I now realize that my 'show no mercy' campaign for the corner office was a big mistake."

Great coaching is about building constructive relationships...

'I'd like to be one of those people who sets targets for other people.'

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

Welcome Bureaucrats! (Convention of bureaucrats).

'We do a little hiring and a little firing, and between you and me, I enjoy the firing more.'

"Gee, Marshal, he must have been one of the good guys"