Deputy Prime Minister Gifts

John Prescott

New Resident of Downing Street

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

"Legal and accounting were O.K. with it, but I had trouble getting it past archery."

William Pitt the Elder

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

Whitehall: Gave honest impartial advice

'Take a letter,'

"Today we can help herd cattle, go on a nature hike, get a sauna and massage, or go into town and rob the bank."

Mice in the Commons

"Yeah, your inner child called. They want a nap, a juice box, and a restraining order." "Ruining whoops, running a country is tough. Maybe I need to relax and channel my inner child."

Br... No Exit

"Gee, Marshal, he must have been one of the good guys"

How To Spot A Politician

'...Nadine Dorries has sent you a present from Australia. She said as soon as she saw it she thought of you!'

Tony Blair

If you ask me, pets shouldn't be allowed in the House of Commons...

François Guizot

Andrea Leadsom's memoirs

al-Maliki.

Do something for the environment.

"I think you need to enroll yourself in a good two-step program."

A dragon relaxing in a chair staring at a taxidermy knight's head above his fireplace.

"Would you like your MP not to stand at the next election?"

"Motion denied then"

Theresa May's ignores a stab in the back.

'Deputy, I asked 'when are you going to a restaurant?' Not 'arrest your aunt'.'

William Hague as a punk.

Nycole Turmel: I can call Jack anytime for advice!

Newly Married M.P. and his Wife

Tony Blair: The Early Years. 'I'm invisitble - nobody can see me!'

Mean Sheriff.

Oliverachy - Short-lived political system where leaders were chosen by how many olives they could fit in their mouths.

"As most MPs are lawyers that should give you a clue as to the mess we are in!"