Dissertation Completion Gifts

Night Owl

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

Scientists are sexy

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point.' Tennyson.'

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

National Academy of Sport

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

'The project is a little behind schedule. It was proactive, now it's retroactive.'

Book publishing.

"Essentially Wilkins proves things and Brenner disproves them."

'My thesis was entitled 'Tears of a Clown: Irony or Paradox?''

Odd Mortarboards.

A man crosses a fountain pen bridge to reach books.

High Five

"Our website design could be described as "organic"... in the sense that people often compare it to poop."

math faculty

Graduating students asking for cash donations.

'Please help, ma'am. I need support to write my Ph.D. dissertation on 'Successful fund-raising techniques'.'

"I totally meant to do that."

'He's a structural engineer.'

"Okay, I finished my novel. Now what?"

Tiddles completes his doctorate.

"The best part is, for me history is now history!"

'I want to thank each of you for coming through in the clutch, putting in some overtime and seeing this project through to completion.'

'That should be good for quite a few doctoral dissertations in the future.'

"Where am I going to find the perfect thesis topic that hasn't been on TikTok already?"

PhD

'Try not to be an idiot.'

"I buried my doctoral thesis in an unmarked grave. . . because, ultimately, you never know."

Some New Mortarboard Styles.

"Your doctoral thesis so much reminds me of mine. No, wait a minute. I never had a doctoral thesis."

"This is all going into my thesis."