Disillusioned In Retail Pillows

"Nihilistic customer service"

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

Sale.

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

"Do you have pants in XL?"

Pirates at the mall.

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

SupermarketAwful Market.

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

'Let me through - I've a bargain for a nose!'

After the Nordstrom-Nordstream Merger

'Our giant sale now on!'

Buy on-line - Fill in form, Fill in form again, And again, Lose form, Fill-in form a few more times, Give up and go to shop...

"Sorry, I'm late. I didn't realize how much credit you had on your card."

'Remember Jones, the customer is always right, no matter how stupid and ignorant he may be.'

'A penny for my thoughts. Now accepting all major credit cards.'

"It must be near New Year's Day...There are Easter eggs in the shop windows!"

"The boss is mad at me. I did something really, really dumb today!"

"I've had a very trying day. I've tried on dresses, shoes..."

A building covered in signs reading 'boats'.

Grand Opening and Closing Down Sale simultaneously occurring.

'Conglomo Corporation: Proud manufacturer of outrageously useless stuff you apparently can't live without.'

Stocktaker counts contents of baked-bean tins.

"I invented 'shopping' and I haven't seen my wife since."

"Coming soon. Possibly a thrift store or a bakery...or, no—how about a coffee house? Yoga studio? Pizza joint?..."

"I made a big mistake getting into ladies underwear..."

'Brilliant idea, Simkins, the old price was actually higher than the present one!'