Shopper In Denial Pillows

'Philip was cute this morning. He said money's tight and I should only buy what I need.'

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

"There are no such things as problems, only opportunities."

Fast Food Dieter

Buy on-line - Fill in form, Fill in form again, And again, Lose form, Fill-in form a few more times, Give up and go to shop...

He only had enough money for one, and for the life of him he couldn't remember the difference,

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop

'He always said he wouldn't be seen dead with his shirt outside his trousers - he'll be livid.'

"I LOVE you more than old people love to pay for everything in exact change."

Down on Her.

"He's a fussy eater."

'I'm sure they make it up in volume.'

"You asked me to keep a food diary, this is last week's!"

'Midnight Galas, dinner at the Captain's table, the Swinging Singles Bar, exotic tropical nights... if I may say so, Miss Winslow... this cruise is you!'

It says 'item is returnable if repackaged exactly as sent.'"

'I couldn't decide what to wear to work so I just didn't go.'

End Of Consumer Confidence Sale

"Everyone who cares about you is here, Frank, because we all feel it's time you quit wearing your baseball cap backwards."

How to manage stress...

As his hearing worsened, Larry had to buy louder and louder clothes.

"We save all the original packaging in case we have to return something."

'Now that I can afford anything on the menu, I can't digest anything on the menu.'

10 items or less queue. (Woman has thrown eggs onto floor).

"I was at home all day yesterday so when do I want you to re-deliver? Yesterday!"

Coming soon: The Garden of Eden Shopping Center.

'No Wallmart...No Target...No mall...How can you call this paradise?'

Sue began to wonder if she needed a spending review of her own.

'Isn't this cool? I ordered 'em all over the internet!'

"I'm not a dog person - I'm just a guy with a dog."

"Attention, shoppers. We have another lost husband at the customer service counter."

Supermarket - 'Buy One, Get 5kg Of Packaging Free'