Shopaholic In Denial Pillows

'Isn't this cool? I ordered 'em all over the internet!'

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

Smart card.

"Well, we can try. But to be honest, I doubt that you'll get custody of your husband's credit cards."

"Hey, I just got a burst of consumer confidence- let's go buy something."

"What kind of bra are you looking for?"

Shopping Torture

'Maturity: the instant-degratification phase of life.'

"Let's just get through the first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

"We've got an emergency out here, Doctor - a compulsive shopper with buyer's remorse!"

Complaints (just kidding).

"Back here in 30 minutes?"

If you don't see what you want, buy something you don't want!

'I can't tell you what I spent for reasons of national security.'

"I balance my manic compulsive buying with manic buyer's remorse."

"Wait, Daddy! I'm that window’s target audience!"

I brake for all 50 off Sales.

It says 'item is returnable if repackaged exactly as sent.'"

'We guarantee you won't get your money back.'

'It's you.'

"How much did you spend at Macy's this year?

"We save all the original packaging in case we have to return something."

Microscope's R Us. 'What do you mean out 'No Refunds' small print is too small.'

Sign in the front window of a shop that reads "50% off all worthless merchandise".

The customer is always right, but that fact has no standing in law.

Missing Person: Last seen shopping

'Philip was cute this morning. He said money's tight and I should only buy what I need.'

"You never buy anything I want."

"It was an impulse purchase."

This computer has been free of hasty, online-purchases for 37 minutes.

'Ugh! Savings sprees are so dull.'

'Well, that's the lot, Miss Jones - you're fired!'

'We'd rather not let you withdraw any money, Mrs Everhart - our computer thinks you'd just waste it.'

'I was going to buy myself a new outfit today, but I'm meeting pockets of resistance.'