Shopaholic In Denial Gifts

'Isn't this cool? I ordered 'em all over the internet!'

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

Smart card.

"Well, we can try. But to be honest, I doubt that you'll get custody of your husband's credit cards."

"Hey, I just got a burst of consumer confidence- let's go buy something."

"What kind of bra are you looking for?"

Shopping Torture

'Maturity: the instant-degratification phase of life.'

"We've got an emergency out here, Doctor - a compulsive shopper with buyer's remorse!"

"Let's just get through the first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

I brake for all 50 off Sales.

If you don't see what you want, buy something you don't want!

"Back here in 30 minutes?"

"I balance my manic compulsive buying with manic buyer's remorse."

Complaints (just kidding).

"Wait, Daddy! I'm that window’s target audience!"

'I can't tell you what I spent for reasons of national security.'

'It's you.'

It says 'item is returnable if repackaged exactly as sent.'"

'We guarantee you won't get your money back.'

"We save all the original packaging in case we have to return something."

"How much did you spend at Macy's this year?

The customer is always right, but that fact has no standing in law.

'Philip was cute this morning. He said money's tight and I should only buy what I need.'

Microscope's R Us. 'What do you mean out 'No Refunds' small print is too small.'

Missing Person: Last seen shopping

Sign in the front window of a shop that reads "50% off all worthless merchandise".

Buyer's Remorse

'I was going to buy myself a new outfit today, but I'm meeting pockets of resistance.'

This computer has been free of hasty, online-purchases for 37 minutes.

'We'd rather not let you withdraw any money, Mrs Everhart - our computer thinks you'd just waste it.'

"It was an impulse purchase."

"You never buy anything I want."

'You've not been panic buying shoes again?'