Shopaholic's Nightmare Gifts

Smart card.

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Hey, I just got a burst of consumer confidence- let's go buy something."

Mothercare - " I'm going to shop till I drop."

"What kind of bra are you looking for?"

Shopping Torture

Mall Ahead - Be prepared to shop.

"We've got an emergency out here, Doctor - a compulsive shopper with buyer's remorse!"

Pirate trying on parrots.

I brake for all 50 off Sales.

"I balance my manic compulsive buying with manic buyer's remorse."

Complaints (just kidding).

'We guarantee you won't get your money back.'

It says 'item is returnable if repackaged exactly as sent.'"

"We save all the original packaging in case we have to return something."

"How much did you spend at Macy's this year?

"Happy Easter!"

"Will this be cash or consumer debt?"

'Isn't this cool? I ordered 'em all over the internet!'

'I was going to buy myself a new outfit today, but I'm meeting pockets of resistance.'

'Ugh! Savings sprees are so dull.'

"Great news! I found the lost credit card this morning!"

'Well, that's the lot, Miss Jones - you're fired!'

'We'd rather not let you withdraw any money, Mrs Everhart - our computer thinks you'd just waste it.'

This computer has been free of hasty, online-purchases for 37 minutes.

'Just stopped off for a few things along the way!'

Please give up this seat to a boyfriend more bored than you are

"He's just realised that the stuff he bought on Ebay was the stuff he SOLD on Ebay!"

"Relax! It's NOT a heart attack! The owner's manual says to expect intense panic during the unpacking stage, as you wonder how in the world you're going to pay for yet another totally impulsive purchase. It should pass in a day or so!"

Man in the bank at deposits queue: 'Could I please go ahead of you? My wife's on her way to the mall!'

"I've never learned to go shopping on an empty credit limit."

'I hardly missed you, thanks to the internet.'

Opening Monday - Closing Friday.

"Could I have two minutes of your time madam. We are today collecting for harassed shoppers!"

'Does my overdraft look big in this?'