Disillusioned In Retail T-Shirts

"Nihilistic customer service"

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"I shop, therefore I am."

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

Sale.

Pirates at the mall.

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

"Do you have pants in XL?"

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

SupermarketAwful Market.

Can't Vote/Why Vote?

'Let me through - I've a bargain for a nose!'

After the Nordstrom-Nordstream Merger

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

'Our giant sale now on!'

Buy on-line - Fill in form, Fill in form again, And again, Lose form, Fill-in form a few more times, Give up and go to shop...

"Sorry, I'm late. I didn't realize how much credit you had on your card."

"It must be near New Year's Day...There are Easter eggs in the shop windows!"

"The boss is mad at me. I did something really, really dumb today!"

'A penny for my thoughts. Now accepting all major credit cards.'

'Remember Jones, the customer is always right, no matter how stupid and ignorant he may be.'

"I've had a very trying day. I've tried on dresses, shoes..."

A building covered in signs reading 'boats'.

Hey, Ernie, you're trying on costumes for the Halloween party! No, I'm finding clothes for my job at the store. I need to fit in the Christmas Decorations there. They've been up for weeks. It's too soon! I don't like decorations going up so early! Cupid's another way I could dress for work. The Valentine's Day decorations are going up right now!

Grand Opening and Closing Down Sale simultaneously occurring.

'Conglomo Corporation: Proud manufacturer of outrageously useless stuff you apparently can't live without.'

Stocktaker counts contents of baked-bean tins.

"I invented 'shopping' and I haven't seen my wife since."

'Brilliant idea, Simkins, the old price was actually higher than the present one!'

"Coming soon. Possibly a thrift store or a bakery...or, no—how about a coffee house? Yoga studio? Pizza joint?..."

'Let me through... I'm a retail therapist.'