Dishware Diva Gifts

Mum's love of china had reached critical levels.

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

La Table

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

"Home depot."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

"I come here for the pepper."

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

Framed Lady

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

'At least I never have to straighten it out.'

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

"All your throw pillows were in knots."

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'