Dishware Diva Pillows

Mum's love of china had reached critical levels.

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

La Table

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

"Home depot."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

"I come here for the pepper."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

Framed Lady

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

'At least I never have to straighten it out.'

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"Excuse me, but could you ask the chef to make this a little more photogenic?"

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

"All your throw pillows were in knots."

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."