Deli Diva Gifts

'He says he's a 'Sandwich artist' and he refuses to work in honey mustard.'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

La Table

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

"I come here for the pepper."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

"Larry never gains an ounce!"

How would Madam like to pay?

"Today's special is we'll pull the plug on the jukebox if someone else's music annoys you."

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

"More croutons, sir?"

"...there, I found it. Stellar! I love this nutrition app!"