Disgruntled Employee Gifts

'Short-timer Syndrome' A cockatiel acts out on his last day at work.

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

'Salaries Manager. No.'

Abandoning the computer for a typewriter.

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

"And to think all these years you've worried about some boy wonder taking over your job."

'I don't know how much more of this I can take!'

"I hate doing appraisals, it involves thinking about them."

'I hate my life.

'Not for what I'm getting paid!'

"You have a certain kind of charm, haven't you, Mr. Beadle? Well, that's all right. I'm not totally opposed to charm."

"A watched file never loads..."

Sold It All.

STRIP Hambone: "System been down long?"

'Thank you for calling Tech Support. Your computer is one month old. We no longer support that model. Good day.'

Workaholic Ned Fulgum takes his first day off in over fifty-seven years.

Paper aeroplane: 'Get on with your work.'

"Honey, can you bring me a drink? I had the worst day. That promotion I was telling you about? They gave it to a mallard. Can you believe it? A mallard!"

'I realize working in the Complaints Department can be tough. But it must be a thrill to work with the public on a daily basis.'

"The instructions must be hard to understand, because along with the number to customer service, it also has a number to an anger management counselor."

In case of computer breakdown break glass

"Sometimes, I wish we'd never invented football."

'I know the computer's slow, but this really isn't a better way to enter data.'

"My computer crashed. . . to the ground when I got frustrated and threw it out the window."

'You're oven again! Your late's in the dinner.'

Ordinary people trying to get something done, Inc.'

"These kid computer games are so hard to learn that I've decided to skip my second childhood."

"If you would like to listen to music while you are on hold press 1, If you would like some quiet time to work out how much this call is costing press 2, if...."

Sorry, this game is not available in your area

'We can't promote you to partner, but I will teach you our secret handshake.'

"I don't know why these people are complaining, we give them stimulating,challenging work...and we let them do it for 80 hours a week."

"Not everyone's cut out to be a mad scientist - maybe you're just meant to be a slightly disgruntled lab technician."

"Your screams, shouts and swearing may be recorded for training purposes. . ."