Workplace Troublemaker Gifts

'You're fired. The test results came back and you tested positive for crack.'

A young Don King

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

"Send ME to bed early, will they?"

'Here comes your Daddy - Do you want me to do the talking?'

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

"And to think all these years you've worried about some boy wonder taking over your job."

'Don't look at me!'

'Coulda, woulda, and definitely shoulda.'

"He said his screen is frozen again."

'I'm sorry, Bob, it wasn't you who won the mega-pool. It was Helen in accounting.' (to man mooning boss).

"Let's try 'roll over.' We can come back to this."

'The man was real nice about it. He gave me my ball back and even said you can expect a nice call from his lawyer.'

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

'Well if you're sick of seeing me here, and I'm sick of coming in here,let's call a truce!'

'Ooops. Wonder if I can claim El Nino caused a surge in water pressure?'

'He's the teacher's pet. She keeps him in a cage in the back of the class.'

'What do you mean that you hacked into Old Faithful's computer so now it's not so faithful?'

'Elroy had an unfortunate knack for picking fights with the wrong people'

'Fine, I'll go to my room, but one day when I'm a famous artist you'll be telling this story as an amusing anecdote!'

'Be careful, Vanessa, I think she's looking for trouble!'

"Trust me, boss, he knows his pies...he just needs more retraining."

Whatever 'shenanigans' are, they must be long. Grandma says there's no end to mine!

Children's Self-Help Books. How to Look for a Lost Toy Without Moving a Muscle. It IS Possible to Make a More Annoying Sound! Tying the Impossible Knot. Mom! MOM! Moooooom!

'Dear Santa, I want a super plasma intruder. One that blows fire and eats people and destroys citys!!!!! Jimmy. ps Have a merry Christmas!

'I couldn't put it down... I had peanut butter on my hands.'

'This is coming out of your allowance!'

"Blackmail has given me a confidence I've never felt before."

"This program really isn't user friendly."

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

Bar: 'Don't bring your troubles in here...we don't want to hear about it!'

"The next time you teach Rex to fetch the paper, make sure it's just our paper!"

Looking for trouble - Can of worms with a can opener next to it.