Unappreciated Employee Gifts

Sold It All.

'Salaries Manager. No.'

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

'Would you all please congatulate...'

'I think it has reached critical mass.'

Find out that man's name and give him a rise.

'It may well be nesting J.T but damn it, you've got a company to turn.'

"If you're wondering why you've been chosen 'Employee of the week,' it's because your work load is about to increase, while your pay remains the same."

The fierce urgency of now - and how to avoid it.

Computer Mouse gets Torn Off.

"I have a very demanding job. The boss is always demanding I work late."

Employee of the month...

Cinderella mopping up

'If you had more criminal potential, you'd get a bonus like all the other investment bankers!'

"One of you I like. The other one, not so much."

"Miss Winthrop, tell my callers that I'm busy with the World Bank."

'Bancroft, it's time to pay the salesmen their bonuses. Would you please stop at the butchers' shop and get a few pounds of raw meat?'

"There's such a thing as being TOO conscientious, Miller!"

Paper aeroplane: 'Get on with your work.'

'Arthur loves his new job with the fairground - gets a company car as well.'

Two Soldiers and a Navvy.

"Yes we need it back. The team fired you, not Sharky."

'Adjuster of the Year' reads a Sports Illustrated at his desk that has two boxes, 'Claims Denied' and 'Claims Paid.' The first has an over flowing stack of paper in it, the other a single sheet of paper.

"The robot won it again!"

It's too cold...the boss is a jerk...my feet hurt.

"For calling in sick press two to have our psychic verify your condition."

"I know good management is a delicate balance, but who changed our flow chart into an aerial circus act?"

"While you're not busy we've a few more things we'd like you to do!"