Unappreciated Employee Gifts

Sold It All.

'Salaries Manager. No.'

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

'Would you all please congatulate...'

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

'I think it has reached critical mass.'

Find out that man's name and give him a rise.

'It may well be nesting J.T but damn it, you've got a company to turn.'

"If you're wondering why you've been chosen 'Employee of the week,' it's because your work load is about to increase, while your pay remains the same."

The fierce urgency of now - and how to avoid it.

"I have a very demanding job. The boss is always demanding I work late."

Computer Mouse gets Torn Off.

'We'd like to show you our appreciation of your many years of dedicated service to this company...But first we need to know what your name is and what it is you do around here!'

Employee of the month...

I work and work and never get ahead

Cinderella mopping up

'If you had more criminal potential, you'd get a bonus like all the other investment bankers!'

'Bancroft, it's time to pay the salesmen their bonuses. Would you please stop at the butchers' shop and get a few pounds of raw meat?'

"One of you I like. The other one, not so much."

"Miss Winthrop, tell my callers that I'm busy with the World Bank."

'Arthur loves his new job with the fairground - gets a company car as well.'

Two Soldiers and a Navvy.

Paper aeroplane: 'Get on with your work.'

"There's such a thing as being TOO conscientious, Miller!"

"Yes we need it back. The team fired you, not Sharky."

'Adjuster of the Year' reads a Sports Illustrated at his desk that has two boxes, 'Claims Denied' and 'Claims Paid.' The first has an over flowing stack of paper in it, the other a single sheet of paper.

"The robot won it again!"

"For calling in sick press two to have our psychic verify your condition."

"And this is the Ward where you'll be working."

It's too cold...the boss is a jerk...my feet hurt.

"If any of you guys out there have lost your jobs, need some help and are struggling to cope, call me. I can't do anything, but it makes me feel better about my own shitty life."

Quit Hogging the Job

"While you're not busy we've a few more things we'd like you to do!"

Will work for a refill.