Disease Trivia Gifts

Billy strip: 'whiskey is not a cure for the common cold.'

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

Your heart is doing well with the pig valve we put in. Now, what was your question?

'Well, that WAS an impressive string of obscenities, but I think I'll stick with the Hippocratic oath.'

Hypochodriac worrying about his heart.

I'd like a second opinion on your self-diagnosis - So a random guy from the waiting room is googling your symptoms.

'Ever since I had a disease named after me, people seem to keep their distance.'

Medical Curiosities

"These grapes are a bit funny."

'You're a hypochondriac.' 'Yes, Doctor, but am I a healthy hypochondriac, or a sick hypochondriac?'

"Fortunately treatment will be relatively inexpensive since you have the generic form of the disease!"

"Well, Phil, after years of vague complaints and imaginary ailments, we finally have something to work with."

A woman stops at a building directory sign for Centers for Diseases.

Covid Juggling

'Try not to get into any more mischief '

Hypochondriac at two computers. One reads 'Internet diagnosis', other says 'Second opinion'.

"Relax, un-controllable trembling is natural before major surgery."

"When I was your age, I was already carrying several deadly diseases!"

"Oh my god, apple pox!"

"Amazing your knowledge of the virus, if anything, I should pay you."

Young Rat: 'Hello Mrs.Krabrandski,can Rodney come out and Plague?'

"He took an Alka-Seltzer and now he thinks he’s sparkling."

'You can't get swine flu from your piggy bank!'

"I've searched every book, also the Internet, so in desperation...I've come to you, doctor!"

Press reports suggest that caffeine could provide protection against a range of cancers.

Man holding container entitled 'Die supplement', with newspaper headline stating 'Vitamin & mineral health risks'.

'It hurts when I do this.'

'I hope you're happy. I have chicken pox.'

'I've got every disease in this book except hypochondria...'

"We've been knocked off the top spot with rabies...by a bunch of pigs with swine flu."

"Looks like an advanced version of the bird flu."

'Put back his DNA.'

'I'm the real thing. I'm FROM the West Nile.'

'I'll see your Bubonic Plague and raise you a severe case of Leprosy.'

The Ad said: 'Ask your doctor!' I did and he said it was all crapola.