Disease Gifts

"Well, Phil, after years of vague complaints and imaginary ailments, we finally have something to work with."

'I'll see your Bubonic Plague and raise you a severe case of Leprosy.'

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

Disease Management

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

"....H....5....N...1...???You got me.... but I'm sure it spells trouble."

Sisyphus and coronavirus

'It's a deal. You don't infect me, and I don't infect you.'

Covid Music

'I've been googling your condition and I'm afraid to say...I think I might have it myself.'

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

Viral Pathology Center (janitor finding three dead bodies)

'You tell me how to give them a fever, and I'll tell you how to make them cough.'

'I thought it might help you get your mind off things. It's a story of hope and survival. Nothing at all like your story.'

Lyme Disease Research Lab

Fighting the Zika Virus

AEDES: Serial Killer - Zika, Dengue, Fiebre Amarilla, Chikungunya.

"If Noah asks... Just tell him you've all had your vaccinations."

Flu Vaccine.

R. Gillespie, M.D., specialist in whatever disease is hot at the moment.

"Why ‘Black Death’? Why not ‘Furry Death’?"

"Aways the victim."

Criminal Germs

'I had this two years ago.'

Zika Epidemic

CENTER FOR DISEASE CONTROL, 'Emergency, sir! -- Hypochondria has reached epidemic proportions!'

New Ebola deaths in Sierra Leone

'Good news and bad... Medical science can't cure you, but we have some marvelous support groups.'

Illustrated Encyclopedia of Infectious Diseases

Cuba detected a variant of HIV

'Even I didn't realize it was a disease.'

'No I didn't say he has swine flu... I said the swine has flu!'

Man in a hazmat suit on a COVID-19 wrecking ball.

Now landing at an airport near you.

"Hi Mike, how's the Leprosy research going?"