Disease Tracker Gifts

'Put it under my microscope!'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

Disease Management

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

"....H....5....N...1...???You got me.... but I'm sure it spells trouble."

'No, I'm not being tracked by scientists, just by my wife...'

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

'I've been googling your condition and I'm afraid to say...I think I might have it myself.'

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

Covid Music

"Tracks of black bear cub... Tracks of black bear mother... Tracks of Henry David Thoreau."

Viral Pathology Center (janitor finding three dead bodies)

"Which way up do you want it?"

'You tell me how to give them a fever, and I'll tell you how to make them cough.'

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"You're darned RIGHT it's a serious problem! Sales people, like goldfish, grow to fit their tanks! He's got to be transferred to a bigger territory, PRONTO!"

'We're looking for something that captures the zeitgeist of the nation...you know, the Great American Tweet.'

Snake with 'toxic' sign around it's neck.

'Did I doze off for a couple of years? Since when did cupcakes become a big deal?'

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

Centers for Disease Control. Staff Picks. Jean. Rob. Carly. Ed. Sonia. Kim.

"Is this piece of artwork or a chart of current market trends?"

Lyme Disease Research Lab

AEDES: Serial Killer - Zika, Dengue, Fiebre Amarilla, Chikungunya.

NHS targets.

"Can you keep a secret, Fred? The truth is, I've never had a clue what curve it is I'm supposed to stay ahead of!"

'First the good news.'