Disease Management Gifts

Disease Management

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

Sisyphus and coronavirus

'It's a deal. You don't infect me, and I don't infect you.'

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

"Ack! This stuff's hard to eat!"

'When you've a minute could you design a new health infrastructure for the area with budget forecasts staffing requirements and job descriptions...tomorrow will do.'

"If Noah asks... Just tell him you've all had your vaccinations."

"Your blood pressure is too high. Take two of these."

'You're allergic to feathers.'

"Aways the victim."

CENTER FOR DISEASE CONTROL, 'Emergency, sir! -- Hypochondria has reached epidemic proportions!'

Criminal Germs

"And that one's for the relief of anxiety caused by the high cost of medication."

'Ever since I had a disease named after me, people seem to keep their distance.'

DOH should create a simple prevalence formula that works.

'Put it under my microscope!'

"Instead of days, my pill organizer is divided into months."

"Your report card says you don't interact well with other medications."

'You don't want to eat me. I have Bird Flu.'

Swine Flu danger as a pandemic

Musical pill box

"Well, Phil, after years of vague complaints and imaginary ailments, we finally have something to work with."

Stop! Mad cows are forbidden to cross the border!

"You probably already know this disease from the walkathon of the same name."

"I like the idea of getting rid of our junk food, but instead of throwing the fridge out, you could've just thrown the food out."

'I'm going to prescribe a new diabetic medication. It's a bit costly. I'll start you off with fifty dollars a week.'

'He made a mistake, lynch him!'

GPs should prescribe tailored exercise and weight loss to relieve osteoarthritis

Matt Hancock

'Someday, just for a change, why can't we send American Flu to Asia?'

'Would you mind if these junior managers have a go at assessing the profitability of your treatment?'

Rats escape boat which has arrived in Europe.

Man in hospital bed has EKG with up and down sales charts next to it