Discipline Master Gifts

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

'Why is a teacher always first on the scene?'

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

"It seemed like a long timeout."

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

'Wow, Mom, how long has he been in time-out?'

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

Dentist Training School.

Science Snobs

'Don't come down until your thirty five.'

'We're hoping to release him over the Grand Canyon.'

"When can I redeploy?"

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

Proud mother and new maid

'My school has a very strict detention policy.'

"Thank you for coming. The talks were forthright and useful, and provided an excellent climate in which to resolve our remaining differences."

"That's the pill I gave the cat this afternoon!"

"If you find anything else wrong, just go ahead and fix it."

'Teachers' Dreams.' 'Mike, did you just call me the B-Word, you fatherless good-for-nothing piece of excrement?'

"You fix computers, and I fix people. Judging by the shape you're in, my job will be a lot more challenging than yours."

Scolding

"I should have paid more attention in math class."

I didn't experience any of the side effects listed in the enclosed literature. Should I be concerned?'

"This drug has such pleasant side effects I consider them value-added."

'And to think I started out as a little bundle of joy.'

"What're you in for?"

"Then again, in some extreme cases, a swift kick in the pants is called for!"

Football - How's my Diving?

The Diligent Student

'This pill you take twice a day before meals. . . this pill you take right after I tell you what those pills cost.'

'Consistency, Bobby, consistency!'

'For throwing spitballs in class, I am sending you to the principal's office. It's nothing personal. It's just a classroom management thing.'

Angel of Death dangles a carrot on a stick.