Discipline Master Pillows

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

'Why is a teacher always first on the scene?'

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

Man practising karate is tempted by a glass of beer.

"It seemed like a long timeout."

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

'Wow, Mom, how long has he been in time-out?'

Dentist Training School.

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

Science Snobs

'Don't come down until your thirty five.'

'We're hoping to release him over the Grand Canyon.'

Proud mother and new maid

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

"When can I redeploy?"

'My school has a very strict detention policy.'

"That's the pill I gave the cat this afternoon!"

"Thank you for coming. The talks were forthright and useful, and provided an excellent climate in which to resolve our remaining differences."

"If you find anything else wrong, just go ahead and fix it."

No, he's not metamorphosing. He's in a time-out.

"You fix computers, and I fix people. Judging by the shape you're in, my job will be a lot more challenging than yours."

Scolding

"I should have paid more attention in math class."

'Teachers' Dreams.' 'Mike, did you just call me the B-Word, you fatherless good-for-nothing piece of excrement?'

I didn't experience any of the side effects listed in the enclosed literature. Should I be concerned?'

"This drug has such pleasant side effects I consider them value-added."

I'm sorry, your honor, I'm a little distracted. Would it be okay if I were to continue questioning the witness via cell phone from the hall?

"Then again, in some extreme cases, a swift kick in the pants is called for!"

The Diligent Student

'And to think I started out as a little bundle of joy.'

"What're you in for?"

Football - How's my Diving?

'This pill you take twice a day before meals. . . this pill you take right after I tell you what those pills cost.'

'For throwing spitballs in class, I am sending you to the principal's office. It's nothing personal. It's just a classroom management thing.'