Discipline Artist Pillows

"When can I redeploy?"

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

Grounded

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

'You the one who called Amnesty International?'

Your Message on Your T-Shirt: 'Do As You Are Told!'

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

'Coulda, woulda, and definitely shoulda.'

'What a bunch of control freaks!'

'Should-do and shouldn't-do sound a lot alike.'

Science Snobs

Education Guidance

Verbal Orders

'Don't come down until your thirty five.'

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

I will not waste chalk kid...

"Don't make me resort to alternative questioning techniques."

"Well, my daddy always says it's not a lie unless the Grand Jury says it's a lie."

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

"Extreme? Maybe. But I have the best behaved school in the district."

"No, he's not grounded anymore. He used his allowance and lawyered up."

The Goal Post-Impressionists,

'My school has a very strict detention policy.'

'Dad's old school teacher was really strict. He still has to go back every night, to finish his detention!'

I will not chew gum in class, even sugarless....

"Thank you for coming. The talks were forthright and useful, and provided an excellent climate in which to resolve our remaining differences."

'Teachers' Dreams.''Did you just say F***? Care to repeat it so everyone can hear you or is even a four letter word beyond your abilities? ... And the state expects me to make you multisyllabic.'

Funny how moms know when you're going to do something naughty at the exact time you're doing it.

"I can never remember whether children are to be seen and not heard or the other way around."

'No breakfast until you're finished making your bed, Joey.'

'Don't I even get to enter a plea?'

'I'd like to overwhelm them with instructional excellence, but I'm not above winning through intimidation.'

"How about you slap me on the wrist and I neither admit nor deny any wrongdoing."

Obedience School - Scratch Before Entering.