Discipline Gurus Gifts

"Sam, neither your father nor I consider your response appropriate."

Scolding

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"Think outside the box but never forget who owns the box."

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

Kirsten Johnson

The new diet not working out too good, huh, Frank?

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

'Enter, His Royal Globalness...'

'Because we're still part of society - that's why we have to go organic.'

'Don't come down until your thirty five.'

"Great! I've finally mastered all my competencies and my teachers still have most of their hair."

"I didn't get a job at the job fair, but I got a blue ribbon for best resume."

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

'When did the treadmill replace the rat race?'

"I don't know, doc, I'm just not peeling well!"

"Health advice does change over time, but I doubt if we'll EVER be recommending a diet of pizza and beer."

"Thank you for coming. The talks were forthright and useful, and provided an excellent climate in which to resolve our remaining differences."

'Mom, I don't care how high in fiber they are. Broccoli flakes are going to fail as a breakfast cereal.'

'First they shoot at us, then they try to fly like us, now they want to steal our lunch.'

'Looks like you've got enough fiber in your system.'

"I was solving those same problems when I was your age."

'I wonder if we're getting enough fibre?'

'My client stands before you, a jury of his peers ...'

'...and to think, forty years ago I gave up smoking and drinking for this.'

'You're getting older... it's a common complaint.'

'I've got three jobs and it works great! As a diet consultant, I help people who got fat from too much pizza and as a mechanic, I repair the cars I wrecked on my pizza delivery tours.'

"What're you in for?"

'And to think I started out as a little bundle of joy.'

"It's our view that this two-tier system is unfair and divisive."

"Maybe when they're a little older, my son can help yours with his homework."