Self-discipline Guru Gifts

Man practising karate is tempted by a glass of beer.

'I hope you got enough to eat, John. . . you didn't eat all your dinner.'

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

What the Thinker was thinking: 'I think I can...I think I can...'

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

"Always remember...it takes teamwork to get me that promotion!"

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

"You left your demons here last week."

"The goal is to hate yourself."

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

It's about self-control. "'No Thyself".

'I guess it was a breakthrough - My free-floating anxiety crashed.'

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'

(Man with 'BEFORE sign): 'My wife says I'm a work-in-progress.'

"I'm prescribing a mild sedative. Go wine shopping and get yourself a nice Chablis."

You are what you eat!

Giving Things Up For Lent.

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

Let go of the restrictions in your own head.

Man in Therapist office sees a sign: Therapy Is Expensive Bubble Wrap Is Cheap You Decide

Thanks to therapy, Bob no longer felt like a nobody. He felt like an anybody.

"Doc, you'll be glad to know I'm comfortable in my own skin today. I shed my old in the reception room."

Warning. Objects in mirror my bear no relation to reality.

"There's a wonderful book on memory tricks here, but I can't remember what I did with it!"

'I'm not complaining or anything, but these are going to be really hard on our self-esteem!'

"I look kind of nice today. . . How long have I been this ugly?"

Secrets of the Mona Lisa revealed.

What're you doing today, Darlene? Power relaxing. 9 to 10:15 I'm reading the paper. 10:20 to 11:30 I'm getting my nails done while reading Catch 22 for my books club. 11:45 to 1, I'm eating lunch, catching up on calls, paying bills then kicking back on the couch from 1 to 1:15. The afternoon is sheer bliss. Yoga from 2-3, Pilates from 3-4, massage from 4-5, meditation 5-6. Now move. Please now! You're interfering with my relaxing. How the type-A spend their Sundays. 10:02, bathroom break. Everyo

Music Therapy

'This scale is gaining weight!'

'This exotic dessert I make is guilt-free. I already burned all the calories running around finding the ingredients!'