Disaster Scenarios Pillows

"I suspect we've seen the last of the goldfish!"

Another long day down at the Bureau of Earthquake Prediction.

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

Worry tank

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

IRMA Hurricane Recovery in Cuba

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

Monster Clown

Experts through the ages.

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

Aliens watch the earth explode

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

Lesser Known Active Volcanoes.

California fires and Coronavirus

"My God, now what?"

"But, for ten million bucks, would you lick it?"

'Our policy is quite plain. We don't pay out on claims we can't pronounce.'

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it!"

Japan Disaster: Japanese fighting Nuclear Grim Reaper.

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

"Yee yee hee hee how how yip yip."

Only Percy seemed happy that the Titanic was taking on water.

Climate Change Contingency House

"....rather than spend millions on a potentially fruitless effort to avoid flooding we've decided to focus on public safety!"

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

'Of course the scientists have got this all wrong about climate change.'

Good News/Bad News: Crisis Control Center

Goldfish Insurance: " We must insure against a deluge of BIBLICAL proportions. . ."

"The asteroid will hit in 2032, but I’m prepared!"

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

"Randy, if you were stranded on an island, what's the one book you'd want to have along with you?" "Easy: Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. It's got the perfect heft to knock coconuts out of trees." "Well, I'd like to have How to Get Off an Island, by Archie Macguyver." "That title's actually a metaphor for overcoming shyness." "We really should have our own book review show."