Disaster Scenarios Gifts

"I suspect we've seen the last of the goldfish!"

Another long day down at the Bureau of Earthquake Prediction.

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

Worry tank

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

IRMA Hurricane Recovery in Cuba

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

"I can see our house from here."

Monster Clown

Experts through the ages.

Aliens watch the earth explode

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

"But, for ten million bucks, would you lick it?"

Lesser Known Active Volcanoes.

California fires and Coronavirus

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

"My God, now what?"

'Our policy is quite plain. We don't pay out on claims we can't pronounce.'

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it!"

Japan Disaster: Japanese fighting Nuclear Grim Reaper.

Only Percy seemed happy that the Titanic was taking on water.

"Yee yee hee hee how how yip yip."

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

Climate Change Contingency House

"....rather than spend millions on a potentially fruitless effort to avoid flooding we've decided to focus on public safety!"

Extraterrestrial kicks rocks on his planet, which turn into meteors crashing to earth.

"Randy, if you were stranded on an island, what's the one book you'd want to have along with you?" "Easy: Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. It's got the perfect heft to knock coconuts out of trees." "Well, I'd like to have How to Get Off an Island, by Archie Macguyver." "That title's actually a metaphor for overcoming shyness." "We really should have our own book review show."

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

Tornado Season in America.

"On the other hand, voting to fund disaster relief would violate my conservative principles."

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

"The asteroid will hit in 2032, but I’m prepared!"