Directional Comedian Gifts

'You're putting that saddle on backwards.' - 'How do you know which way I'm going?'

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

One way only.

'Our recommended position on the market is fetal.'

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'Harold, I told you to take out the trash!'

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

"Appears to be choking on his responsibility."

Monet At Open Mic Night

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

Left and Right: Please be consistent.

'But, there must be some mistake. I don't want to buy the school.'

The Last of the Passenger Pigeons

'Quick! 'Tushy to the ground' stance!'

Ye Olde FIgure-Drawing Classe

Manhole Warning

'You always have an excuse when it's your turn to buy the drinks.'

"Very well done, Samuels. But next time, don't forget your handcuffs."

'Scottish Arts Council? I'm looking for sponsorship to help me sit through a performance of Gotterdammerung.'

How to Tell when You're Asking for Directions from a NASCAR Fan: 'Make a left, then hang a left, take another left followed by a left...'

"I'm hoping that once we enter the Bronze Age I'll be able to get a better likeness of you."

'Sorry, you're not suitable for the post of Assistant Beggar.'

The leatherhosen thief strikes again!

Lost Penguins.

Political Hipsters

Tallit barcode

I take it back - He's not writing a text and driving, he's illustrating a text and driving.

'You said you wanted to experiment in bed.'

Eggskimos: Eskimos in the form of Eggs.

Standup comic doing pro-bono work in isolated rural area

Tolerate thy neighbour

I thought it would be a good idea if we reflected on the past year...here are your photo radar tickets.

"That's how you think because you're an egghead."

'I'm Sally, your waitress for tonight, and this is Hugo, my insanely jealous boyfriend.'

'Better keep an eye on that guy.'