Directional Humorist Gifts

A man asking a sailor for directions

Football Chameleon

"The Eggsorcist"

Bicycle sat nav.

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

Smoke and mirrors.

Large print e-book.

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

One way only.

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

In trays read: Bluff/Blink.

"Did I miss a lot of work while I was out with the flu? No, I didn't miss it at all!"

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

I think I need new glasses. I swear I just saw a tiny man jump off your bridge.

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

Nude conductor of Orchestra conducting 'The full Monte-verdi'

A man with notches in his nose for his glasses.

Murphy bed...Murphy.

Three-way mirror

Dion hires an image consultant: Ineresting. Now let's try Western and then Hip-Hop.

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

Out and In.

"I'm here because my vision is getting so bad I can't even see clearly in my dreams at night!"

'Sir! We're all doomed! It's a fitted sheet! How can we ever hope to stop something we can't even fold?!'

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

'My 434 novels are very similar to Terry Pratchetts apart from the fact that they've never been published.'

'It says this artist is making a statement about man's struggle with the rising cost of oil paint.'

Left and Right: Please be consistent.