Directional Humor Gifts

Left and Right: Please be consistent.

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

One way only.

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

"Look at her...Gracie is intelligent, optimistic, ambitious..I wish she was one more thing."

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

"Chicken on a bend of spinach and onions?"

A signaller directing pallbearers

'What's your thumb doing on my steak?' 'Want me to drop it again?'

'Congratulations. You've passed.'

"Safe? Of course it's safe! I do fireworks every year!"

The Swiss Alp 44 Million Years Ago

'My teacher has a good memory. She remembers what a rotten kid you were.'

'My eyesight was getting worse, but thanks to my new glasses, I can play 'Monkey see, Monkey do' again...'

'What's the special?'

'You're being replaced by a machine...But at least it's an American-made machine.'

'You're putting that saddle on backwards.' - 'How do you know which way I'm going?'

How to Tell when You're Asking for Directions from a NASCAR Fan: 'Make a left, then hang a left, take another left followed by a left...'

Lost Penguins.

"In lieu of a tip, can one of you take a shift for me?"

"We're not so different, you and I."

Plane annoys penthouse apartment.

Dad, stop! Put your glasses on! You're about to eat a stick insect!

A hunter missing his target

Woman gossiping on emergency phone

'As a safety feature, I flattened one side.'

There goes professor Elactic!

Eye Test.

'You are ear.'

"Is the rabbit cute?"

Directions, "Aye, it's down the road, first left after the squashed hedgehog"

"Mom, what is binary fission?"

What I Know. . .

A man asking a sailor for directions