Diplomat Gifts

"No need. I have diplomatic immunity."

"If we're done grousing about Cuba, let's have in to those cigars."

Brexit Battles

"I looked in his eyes and couldn't see his soul."

Lukashenko visited Putin in Sochi

'Maybe you should reconsider those place cards, Ms Harris?' (Negotiation talks/Good Guys/Bad Guys)

'Look, if this fails we'll still have to do business with them, so try to be subtle about it.'

"You'll have to phrase it another way. They have no word for 'fetch.' "

'Negotiating skills need fine tuning.'

'Let's meet halfway.'

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

'These upcoming negotiations are going to be rough Jekyll, son you better send Hyde.'

"We can't agree on a recipe."

'Rock beats scissors, sanctions it is!'

"Finally we have something in common...mutual distrust."

'All options are on the table. That includes defriending on Facebook.'

Arms race - USA and Russia.

'Do you think I can bend over backwards as well as forwards?' What more must Turkey do to join the European Union?

'News from the battlefield, sire. Our army was declared victorious. However, the Huns have challenged that rulling and it is currently under review...'

A long war followed.

"I welcome the discussion."

UN agreements.

'Major breakthrough! We've all agreed on Pizza for lunch.'

'Honey, I fear, to be a European patriot means a little more than having a German beer for breakfast, Italian pizza and French wine for lunch and Spanish brandy for dinner...'

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

"My government is very concerned about your government's torture and maiming of potential consumers."

New World Order

"Has Britain left Europe yet?"

"Heck of a way to start the negotiation."

"Use diplomacy. If that fails, you could try force."

Ethic Cleansing

'We're beyond globalization. We'd like to present a case for universalization.'

"Everything looks fuzzy through these."

'It's not looking good, they've been in there for hours and they still haven't agreed whether to have English or French mustard.'

How Not To Start Off A Negotiation Process.