Dinner Party Joker Gifts

Waiter, what are these 12 flies doing in my soup? Deliberating.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

"Joel! Killer crust!"

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

'I'll be conducting Mahler 3 as the guests arrive.'

The Vicar 's Invitation to Dinner.

'Hey, Pal, hope you don't mind - we're running a little low over here.'

"I'm unable to process this image."

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

"My secret is having a ton of money to buy the best ingredients."

'Our guest tonight certainly needs no introduction.'

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

"How much longer, roughly, will you be introducing me as a 'disgruntled Republican'?"

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

"If they don't show up soon I'll have to admit I forgot to invite them."

'I'm sorry, he likes to let off wind after dinner.'

"This time when they show us their latest acquisition, we'll gush regardless."

"I see you've discovered the heirloom Twinkies."

"Wallace couldn't come, but I brought some of his fussy prose."