Dinner Joker Gifts

"I'm sorry sir, our server is down."

"But we had stir-fry last night and the night before."

"....My wife and I are strict humanitarians."

I'll try the cod surprise.

"Not dogs. I was raised by cats, so I may occasionally knock things off the table."

Your Dinner is in the Tin

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

"How fresh is the calamari?"

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

Pope tarts.

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

"Eat more pizza and doughnuts and stop exercising. Just kidding, you should see your face!"

"Your dinner's on the table and yours is under the table."

"What, exactly, did you say to the maître d'?"

"You're right. The sunscreen does taste like ranch dressing."

"Here there is all the bacon, pizza and beer you could desire. But do not eat from the Tree of Tofu lest you should lose paradise."

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

'Yes, chocolate moose.'

"We know you boosted that milk truck!" "Admit it or we'll take a bite outta you!"

'Can't we have something other than curry for a change?'

'Make it four beers and an '02 Brunello di Montalcino, if you've got it, for you-know-who.'

"Pecan pie with rum-raisin ice cream is the best revenge."

"Do you have a dollar menu?"

'It's her signature dish.'

Virgin Olive Oil. Not-Virgin-But-Has-A-Heart-Of-Gold Olive Oil.

Chocolate Munchies. Only 100 calories...' awesome!' - '' - 'Runchy! Rurrgh!!' - '' - 'Oh, hold on. 100 calories per Munchie' - '' -

"Just keep your eyes closed - it'll only upset you."

'Yes, I'd like the chef pan-fried, marinated in his disgusting sauce and charcoal grilled.'

"While you're waiting for your order, can I pick something off someone else's plate for you?"

"If you have one more round it's considered a main dish."

"Don't rush me! I won't be much of a busy bee if I don't get my second cup of coffee."