Dining Joker Gifts

"If you have one more round it's considered a main dish."

'House red please.'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

"How fresh is the calamari?"

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

Don't go out in the rain without an umbrella....was probably not 'his idea' of a tip, dear!'

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

"Eat more pizza and doughnuts and stop exercising. Just kidding, you should see your face!"

"Your dinner's on the table and yours is under the table."

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

I'll try the cod surprise.

"What, exactly, did you say to the maître d'?"

"You're right. The sunscreen does taste like ranch dressing."

'Yes, chocolate moose.'

"Here there is all the bacon, pizza and beer you could desire. But do not eat from the Tree of Tofu lest you should lose paradise."

"We know you boosted that milk truck!" "Admit it or we'll take a bite outta you!"

'Can't we have something other than curry for a change?'

'I'll have the diet special followed by a triple helping of chocolate sponge cake.'

'Make it four beers and an '02 Brunello di Montalcino, if you've got it, for you-know-who.'

'It's her signature dish.'

"Pecan pie with rum-raisin ice cream is the best revenge."

'Waiter! There's no hair in my soup!'

"Do you have a dollar menu?"

"You can eat all the cake you want and still get into heaven."

'Yes, I'd like the chef pan-fried, marinated in his disgusting sauce and charcoal grilled.'

"Are you sure this is the Irish guacamole?"

Chocolate Munchies. Only 100 calories...' awesome!' - '' - 'Runchy! Rurrgh!!' - '' - 'Oh, hold on. 100 calories per Munchie' - '' -

"I recommend the salad, fatty"

"What is this one - 'Two egg surprise'?"