Dinner Joker Pillows

"I'm sorry sir, our server is down."

"But we had stir-fry last night and the night before."

"....My wife and I are strict humanitarians."

I'll try the cod surprise.

"Not dogs. I was raised by cats, so I may occasionally knock things off the table."

Your Dinner is in the Tin

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

"How fresh is the calamari?"

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

"Eat more pizza and doughnuts and stop exercising. Just kidding, you should see your face!"

"Your dinner's on the table and yours is under the table."

"You're right. The sunscreen does taste like ranch dressing."

"Here there is all the bacon, pizza and beer you could desire. But do not eat from the Tree of Tofu lest you should lose paradise."

"What, exactly, did you say to the maître d'?"

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

'Yes, chocolate moose.'

"We know you boosted that milk truck!" "Admit it or we'll take a bite outta you!"

'Can't we have something other than curry for a change?'

'Make it four beers and an '02 Brunello di Montalcino, if you've got it, for you-know-who.'

"While you're waiting for your order, can I pick something off someone else's plate for you?"

"Pecan pie with rum-raisin ice cream is the best revenge."

"Do you have a dollar menu?"

Chocolate Munchies. Only 100 calories...' awesome!' - '' - 'Runchy! Rurrgh!!' - '' - 'Oh, hold on. 100 calories per Munchie' - '' -

'It's her signature dish.'

'Yes, I'd like the chef pan-fried, marinated in his disgusting sauce and charcoal grilled.'

"If you have one more round it's considered a main dish."

"I recommend the salad, fatty"

"Don't rush me! I won't be much of a busy bee if I don't get my second cup of coffee."

"What is this one - 'Two egg surprise'?"

"Okay, that's one pizza with all our toppings and one without."