Restaurant Joker Pillows

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

Get crazy once in a while

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"How fresh is the calamari?"

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

"Nope, not what livestream means, Bob."

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

"Eat more pizza and doughnuts and stop exercising. Just kidding, you should see your face!"

"Your dinner's on the table and yours is under the table."

'Yes, chocolate moose.'

I'll try the cod surprise.

"We know you boosted that milk truck!" "Admit it or we'll take a bite outta you!"

Here lies BoBo the Clown

"What, exactly, did you say to the maître d'?"

'It had taken some time, but the finding of a spaghetti junction brought immense satisfaction.'

"You're right. The sunscreen does taste like ranch dressing."

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

Toilet humour

No infrastructure problem here

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'