Dinner Jokester Pillows

'Can't we have something other than curry for a change?'

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"Fresh pepper spray?"

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

Don't go out in the rain without an umbrella....was probably not 'his idea' of a tip, dear!'

Onion operation.

International House of Excrement

Couple sharing the plastic widget from a pizza box like a chicken's wish bone

Soup Company: Chicken Stock, Beef Stock and Laughing Stock,

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

'I'm going to bake you a sponge cake...where do we keep the sponges?'

'If you mean Janet, she works the late shift.'

I'll try the cod surprise.

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

'You can do whatever you want, Herb, but I sure wouldn't take advice from a bowl of alphabet soup!'

'I just come here for the ambiance. The food's lousy, so ordered a pizza be delivered.'

'I wish you'd make those meatballs a little lighter; they hurt!'

'Do you have any wine from the Ming dynasty?'

'I'll have the frogs legs - and make sure they're kneeling.'

'Waiter! There's no hair in my soup!'

"Are you sure this is the Irish guacamole?"

'I'm sorry, sir, but cheeseburgers are out of season.'

"How about you? Were you 'locally raised'?"

'I didn't find a finger in my chili!'

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

"Would you like any suburbs, or just the check?"

'It's actually cheaper than the bait shop.'

"Oh, how nice. You're just in time to cut the vegetables,"

"The Blueberry Bagel, having triumphed on the East Coast, heads West."