Dinner Party Jokester Pillows

'Do you find the roast to have a faint 'woody' taste?' 'Could be, I couldn't find the carving knife so I used my band saw... cuts like butter.'

'Here comes the Bill.'

Don't go out in the rain without an umbrella....was probably not 'his idea' of a tip, dear!'

International House of Excrement

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

Couple sharing the plastic widget from a pizza box like a chicken's wish bone

'If you mean Janet, she works the late shift.'

'Can't we have something other than curry for a change?'

"Waiter! - this soup tastes funny!"

'Great! you ate the waiter, now how am I going to order!?'

"Are you sure this is the Irish guacamole?"

'I didn't find a finger in my chili!'

'Do you have any wine from the Ming dynasty?'

'Waiter! There's no hair in my soup!'

'You ordered the stuffed sea bass, didn't you?'

'Do you happen to have a scratch-and-sniff menu?'

'Waiter there is a candlestick in my soup!'

Wegovy diet drug

"Can I get you your bill sir?"

Waiter is about to give diner the Turkey Surprise dinner.

'Tartar sauce?! Heaven no. My dentist would kill me.'

"... And would sir like a straw with that?"

'You were here for dinner just two weeks ago. That's what I call a fast recovery!'

"We're gonna need a bigger gravy boat!"

Annoying Dinner Guests Dining Soc.

'We had that last night.'

"I'm sorry, sir. That's the children's menu."

"Good heavens! She cooked Uncle Henry!"

'Everyone loves Christmas...except the turkey!'

'Eat your vegetables, or you'll go mad like your father!'

'...and thank you for not outstaying your welcome.'

'If God had meant for me to eat Brussels sprouts, He would've put me in Belgium.'

"Would you like to hear tonight's specials or would you just like to jump ahead to the main course. . .?"