Dinner Party Humorists Pillows

'Your French dip, sir.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

All you can eat chicken $3.95: "Cooked is 20 dollars extra."

'If you mean Janet, she works the late shift.'

"May we see your kids' menu please?"

'I just come here for the ambiance. The food's lousy, so ordered a pizza be delivered.'

"Waiter! - this soup tastes funny!"

'Do you have any wine from the Ming dynasty?'

'I'll have the frogs legs - and make sure they're kneeling.'

"I am off duty, but the body cam allows me to discreetly take photos of my meal."

'I didn't find a finger in my chili!'

"How about you? Were you 'locally raised'?"

"Would you like any suburbs, or just the check?"

'If only you would let me cover this Tofu-vegetables stuff with ketchup, it would at least LOOK like real food...'

'Do you happen to have a scratch-and-sniff menu?'

Wegovy diet drug

'I'm glad I don't like spinach because if I liked it I'd eat it and I hate the stuff!'

"Waiter, there are needles in my stew."

'How many times have I told you not to talk with your mouth full?'

'It used to be a nightmare getting him to sleep and then we discovered chloroform.'

'Tartar sauce?! Heaven no. My dentist would kill me.'

'Yes, I'd like something to wash this wine down with!'

Please note that our menu items have changed. For starters, press or say 1. For main courses, press or say 2. For desserts, ..........'

'Yon lad's got a chip on his shoulder.' 'Aye, he's certainly a messy eater.'

"... And would sir like a straw with that?"

'If I'm not mistaken; aren't these the left-overs from last night's left-overs, from...'

'We had that last night.'

'Everyone loves Christmas...except the turkey!'