Dinner Party Humorists Pillows

'What goes well with Viagra'

'Your French dip, sir.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

'If you mean Janet, she works the late shift.'

"May we see your kids' menu please?"

All you can eat chicken $3.95: "Cooked is 20 dollars extra."

"What do you mean, where's your order? Can't you see we're just starting to really cook?"

'I just come here for the ambiance. The food's lousy, so ordered a pizza be delivered.'

"Waiter! - this soup tastes funny!"

Menu. Everything looks so delicious! Thank you!

There's a strange mist over my food. You never heard of pea soup fog?

"I am off duty, but the body cam allows me to discreetly take photos of my meal."

'I'll have the frogs legs - and make sure they're kneeling.'

'I didn't find a finger in my chili!'

"How about you? Were you 'locally raised'?"

'Do you have any wine from the Ming dynasty?'

"Would you like any suburbs, or just the check?"

'Do you happen to have a scratch-and-sniff menu?'

Please be gentle, waiter. This is my first salad. I'm sorry, sir, but there's a reason they call it "roughage."

'If only you would let me cover this Tofu-vegetables stuff with ketchup, it would at least LOOK like real food...'

"Knife...fork..."

Wegovy diet drug

'I'm glad I don't like spinach because if I liked it I'd eat it and I hate the stuff!'

'How many times have I told you not to talk with your mouth full?'

"Waiter, there are needles in my stew."

'It used to be a nightmare getting him to sleep and then we discovered chloroform.'

'Tartar sauce?! Heaven no. My dentist would kill me.'

'Everyone loves Christmas...except the turkey!'

'We had that last night.'

'Yes, I'd like something to wash this wine down with!'

'Yon lad's got a chip on his shoulder.' 'Aye, he's certainly a messy eater.'

Please note that our menu items have changed. For starters, press or say 1. For main courses, press or say 2. For desserts, ..........'

'If it tastes just like chicken... I'd rather have chicken.'