Dinner Party Comedians Pillows

'Your French dip, sir.'

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

'No, I don't need a doggy bag, but how about a kitty bag?'

All you can eat chicken $3.95: "Cooked is 20 dollars extra."

'If you mean Janet, she works the late shift.'

"Waiter! - this soup tastes funny!"

'Do you have any wine from the Ming dynasty?'

'I didn't find a finger in my chili!'

'Self service.' 'How much do I tip myself?'

The Gastrosexual

'If only you would let me cover this Tofu-vegetables stuff with ketchup, it would at least LOOK like real food...'

'Embarrassing me won't get you out of 'fondue night' Harold!'

Wegovy diet drug

"You folks like a little something?"

"Oh, don't worry about that—it only goes off when someone taps 'no tip.'"

'Do you happen to have a scratch-and-sniff menu?'

'I'm glad I don't like spinach because if I liked it I'd eat it and I hate the stuff!'

'How many times have I told you not to talk with your mouth full?'

'Freezer is on the blink.'

'It used to be a nightmare getting him to sleep and then we discovered chloroform.'

'Tartar sauce?! Heaven no. My dentist would kill me.'

'I'll have 40 percent of what he's having.'

When Barry decided to start a campaign for gum control.

"Ryan, are you giving your vegetables to the Roomba again?"

'Can you recommend something good that won't look too fattening to passers-by?'

"We're gonna need a bigger gravy boat!"

'Everyone loves Christmas...except the turkey!'

"Darling, can you pass me the salt and the pepper spray?"

'If it's flowers you want,may I suggest a vegetarian restaurant,sir?'

'We had that last night.'

"... And would sir like a straw with that?"

'If it tastes just like chicken... I'd rather have chicken.'