Foodie Joker Gifts

Vegetarian taxidermy

Pizza Express

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

"We know you boosted that milk truck!" "Admit it or we'll take a bite outta you!"

'I'll be talking nonsense when you come to take our order. But, if you pretend I'm speaking French there'll be a big tip in it for you.'

'Okay,who would like a piece of freshly baked Shepherd's pie?!...'

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

"Peanut butter sandwich. Instant pudding. TV dinner. Canned soup. This is home-style cooking."

Sesame Noodles

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"How fresh is the calamari?"

Bangers and Mash

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

'He's all eyes!'

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

"I'm not trying to freak you out, but your eel roll is moving."

"And your baskets include dead crickets, old socks, mice guts and toilet water."

"Eat more pizza and doughnuts and stop exercising. Just kidding, you should see your face!"

Doughnut Criminals

I'll try the cod surprise.

'It had taken some time, but the finding of a spaghetti junction brought immense satisfaction.'

"Here there is all the bacon, pizza and beer you could desire. But do not eat from the Tree of Tofu lest you should lose paradise."

"You're right. The sunscreen does taste like ranch dressing."

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

'Yes, chocolate moose.'

'Make it four beers and an '02 Brunello di Montalcino, if you've got it, for you-know-who.'

"Pecan pie with rum-raisin ice cream is the best revenge."

'Yes, I'd like the chef pan-fried, marinated in his disgusting sauce and charcoal grilled.'

"You can eat all the cake you want and still get into heaven."

Chocolate Munchies. Only 100 calories...' awesome!' - '' - 'Runchy! Rurrgh!!' - '' - 'Oh, hold on. 100 calories per Munchie' - '' -

'It's her signature dish.'

"Do you have a dollar menu?"