Food Joker Gifts

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"How fresh is the calamari?"

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

'He's all eyes!'

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

"Eat more pizza and doughnuts and stop exercising. Just kidding, you should see your face!"

'It had taken some time, but the finding of a spaghetti junction brought immense satisfaction.'

I'll try the cod surprise.

"You're right. The sunscreen does taste like ranch dressing."

'Diet? Yeah I'm on a prop's diet...pies,chips,burgers and coke!'

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

"Introducing the Schultzaccino. Neither tea nor coffee."

'Yes, chocolate moose.'

"Here there is all the bacon, pizza and beer you could desire. But do not eat from the Tree of Tofu lest you should lose paradise."

All you can eat chicken $3.95: "Cooked is 20 dollars extra."

"We know you boosted that milk truck!" "Admit it or we'll take a bite outta you!"

'Your tomato ketchup is on it's way, Sir...'

'Make it four beers and an '02 Brunello di Montalcino, if you've got it, for you-know-who.'

'Purpose of visit?'

"Do you have a dollar menu?"

'It's her signature dish.'

"Just how rare is this steak..."

Frisbee dog catching pizza dough

'Yes, I'd like the chef pan-fried, marinated in his disgusting sauce and charcoal grilled.'

"Pecan pie with rum-raisin ice cream is the best revenge."

Chocolate Munchies. Only 100 calories...' awesome!' - '' - 'Runchy! Rurrgh!!' - '' - 'Oh, hold on. 100 calories per Munchie' - '' -