Culinary Jokers Gifts

Dried Herbs

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"That's it. We’re toast."

Soup of the month.

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'The Burrito King.'

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

Bangers and Mash

A Club Sandwitch.

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"What do you suggest...the tuna fish or the peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich?"

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

"What happened to the thin crust guy I married?"

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

Where Deviled Eggs come from

Onion operation.

A Pirate Egg Prisoner about to Walk the Plank into a boiling pot of water

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

'I'm going to bake you a sponge cake...where do we keep the sponges?'

Soup Company: Chicken Stock, Beef Stock and Laughing Stock,