Dinner Humor Appreciators Pillows

Finally a normal guy, she thought, until she dropped her fork and he offered to help.

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

'If you mean Janet, she works the late shift.'

"May we see your kids' menu please?"

'I just come here for the ambiance. The food's lousy, so ordered a pizza be delivered.'

"Chicken on a bend of spinach and onions?"

'What's your thumb doing on my steak?' 'Want me to drop it again?'

'I'll have the frogs legs - and make sure they're kneeling.'

'This isn't soup of the day. Today's Tuesday.'

'I didn't find a finger in my chili!'

"How about you? Were you 'locally raised'?"

'Waiter, is it raining?' ] 'Sorry, not my table.'

"Would you like any suburbs, or just the check?"

'For obvious reasons the chowder's made with chicken and pork.'

'Do you happen to have a scratch-and-sniff menu?'

Bob ordered the breakfast special of bacon with two eggs served any way he wanted.

The Second-to-last Supper.

"Waiter, there are needles in my stew."

'What's the special?'

'Please, no - not the live fettucini!'

'Tartar sauce?! Heaven no. My dentist would kill me.'

'Just bring us your best beers-all of 'em.'

'It's called Les Restes. It's French for leftovers.'

"We're gonna need a bigger gravy boat!"

"Expect a generous gratuity on table 9...I hacked his tip calculator."

"In lieu of a tip, can one of you take a shift for me?"

"... And would sir like a straw with that?"

'Yes, I'd like something to wash this wine down with!'

'Is everything O.K.?'

'Yon lad's got a chip on his shoulder.' 'Aye, he's certainly a messy eater.'