Dinner Humor Appreciators Pillows

Finally a normal guy, she thought, until she dropped her fork and he offered to help.

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"May we see your kids' menu please?"

'If you mean Janet, she works the late shift.'

'I just come here for the ambiance. The food's lousy, so ordered a pizza be delivered.'

Menu. Everything looks so delicious! Thank you!

"Chicken on a bend of spinach and onions?"

'What's your thumb doing on my steak?' 'Want me to drop it again?'

"How about you? Were you 'locally raised'?"

'This isn't soup of the day. Today's Tuesday.'

'I didn't find a finger in my chili!'

'I'll have the frogs legs - and make sure they're kneeling.'

There's a strange mist over my food. You never heard of pea soup fog?

'Waiter, is it raining?' ] 'Sorry, not my table.'

"Would you like any suburbs, or just the check?"

"Knife...fork..."

'For obvious reasons the chowder's made with chicken and pork.'

'Do you happen to have a scratch-and-sniff menu?'

Bob ordered the breakfast special of bacon with two eggs served any way he wanted.

Please be gentle, waiter. This is my first salad. I'm sorry, sir, but there's a reason they call it "roughage."

The Second-to-last Supper.

'What's the special?'

"Waiter, there are needles in my stew."

'Please, no - not the live fettucini!'

'Tartar sauce?! Heaven no. My dentist would kill me.'

'What's the soup of the day?' 'Heinz.'

"In lieu of a tip, can one of you take a shift for me?"

"Expect a generous gratuity on table 9...I hacked his tip calculator."

'Yes, I'd like something to wash this wine down with!'

"We're gonna need a bigger gravy boat!"

'Just bring us your best beers-all of 'em.'

'It's called Les Restes. It's French for leftovers.'

'Is everything O.K.?'

'Yon lad's got a chip on his shoulder.' 'Aye, he's certainly a messy eater.'